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Usually, I advise my clients to care more about getting it right than being right. When we are too attached to being right, our preconceived ideas, stubbornness, and egos can lead to poor decision-making and drama. Getting it right is a common way for us to measure our success 鈥� and all too often, our worth. That is precisely why I want to examine letting go of getting it right. While I want my clients to achieve great things, I want them to do so in a way that honors and elevates the human experience.

The fear of failure

Our desire to get it right is intrinsically linked to our fear of failure. In that vein, we often put an inordinate amount of pressure on ourselves to deliver even the more mundane tasks impeccably.

We certainly don鈥檛 come to work to fail. In fact, our work can be a source of satisfaction, accomplishment, and pride. We can intellectually understand that making mistakes is a necessary part of growth. However, emotionally speaking, our relationship to mistake-making is more complicated.

The hidden costs

When our professional identity is inextricably tied to getting it right, it can inadvertently stifle us. It may lead us into the hindering tendencies of procrastination and perfectionism. When we don鈥檛 know where or how to start, or harbor feelings of anxiety, procrastination becomes our fear鈥檚 coping mechanism. Unrealistic expectations of perfectionism put us in a hyper state of not feeling good enough, and desperately trying to do our best to prove our value. In a futile attempt to exert control, we overemphasize getting everything right.

Not 鈥榞etting it right鈥� can generate heavy and demotivating emotions of humiliation, embarrassment, shame, or even rejection.

Our relationship to failure is often so debilitating that we rob ourselves of the joy of discovery and learning. If we audit our actions and inactions, we might see that our fear of failure is stagnating our growth. In our attachment to getting it right we make justifications for falling short, rather than embracing the humility of a lifelong learner.

How we carry stress raises or lowers our resiliency reserves. Healthy stress helps us produce great work. The desires to do well, to be perceived as capable and competent, and to be a creative, resourceful problem-solver can all be excellent motivators.

It is important to differentiate between the kind of stress that derives from the desire to cultivate one鈥檚 potential, and the kind of stress that comes from fear. When your work is regularly coming from a place of fear, you are likely carrying a load of stress that could lead to burnout. If your work is coming from a place of desired ongoing development, you relate to 鈥榞etting it right鈥� with more fluidity and grace.

In our resistance to failure, we live in a space of enhanced, unhealthy, and sometimes fabricated stress. The energy we put into resistance could be channeled into building resilience!

It is natural to experience fear. Instead of pushing it away, I invite you to slow down, clearly identify the real fear, and make friends with it. As Entrepreneur magazine editor Jason Feifer explains, 鈥淵our fear isn鈥檛 general. It鈥檚 specific. It has nuances. It is the product of your own experiences, expectations, and perceived shortcomings.鈥�

鈥淒oubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.鈥� 鈥� Suzy Kassem

When you think of what is getting in your way, consider that the obstacles might be more internal than external. This is not about going to a place of blaming yourself, making yourself wrong, or giving a megaphone to the inner critic. It鈥檚 healthier (and more enjoyable) to approach what we are facing with kindness, curiosity, and compassion. Don鈥檛 let doubt take you out.

Life is a creative act. And in being so, it can be messy and meandering. We will get lost. We will discover new things. We will experience friction, which is merely a condition for generating solutions. We will encounter constraints, which are not deal-breakers but rather frameworks for focusing on what we can do.

Look, we all want to do good work. I understand that 鈥渞ight鈥� feels good. It is satisfying when we excel. It bumps up our confidence and ignites our motivation. In my experience with facilitating healthy cultures, I see people wanting to contribute, to feel accomplished, to feel appreciated, and to feel connected. It鈥檚 empowering and nurturing to feel the sense of teamwork that comes from successfully executing together. But just know that, in the words of Ryan Reynolds, 鈥淵ou can鈥檛 be good at something unless you鈥檙e willing to be bad.鈥�

Take the K Challenge:

The call is to embrace a healthy, resilient mindset that relates to stress as helpful, challenges as potential-building, and learning as its own prize.

If 鈥済etting it right鈥� is about never being good enough, chasing perfection, or avoiding challenges, it becomes a liability. When 鈥済etting it right鈥� is about an ongoing process of continuous improvement, it is an asset.

Embrace progress over perfection, action over worrying, courage and curiosity over fear. Accept the challenge to be balanced and human in your pursuit of excellence!

Karen Natzel is a business therapist who helps leaders create healthy, vibrant and high-performing organizations. Contact her at 503-806-4361 or [email protected].

The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed in the preceding commentary are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the Daily Journal of Commerce or its editors. Neither the author nor the 红桃视频 guarantees the accuracy or completeness of any information published herein.